Sharon SportsNuts Blog – Townsend 40th

Presented at a recent friend and neighbor’s 40th birthday dinner, an homage to our heroes on Sharon’s community television…

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 2nd, 2014, 7:33pm — As signups begin for the new Ultimate Frisbee League sponsored by the Community Education Program, rumors are swirling about a potential steamroller of a team fielded by Sharon Heights. Word at Charlie’s Deli is that the local college and quasi-pro legend, Matthew Townsend, will don the disc this winter along with all-playground defensive specialist and intimidator, Eric Friedman of Lee Road fame… he of the house with the broken fence mended with white duct tape facing South Main. Friedman’s unorthodoxy aside, the addition of Townsend to the Heights squad is sure to rattle all would-be opponents, especially those of us still in middle school. This reporter will try to get Townsend on an upcoming show.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 10th, 2014, 6:08am — The buzz around Sharon Ultimate Frisbee is intensifying. Townsend has proved elusive. I didn’t know a Prius could accelerate so quickly, though I was hampered by a microphone cord plugged into a camera and Sharon Cable Access cameraman Mook Dempsey is none too quick these days what with the dual hip replacement surgery — a rare medical procedure where one hip is replaced with the other, much like how you might rotate the tires on your car. I told Mook to stop seeking medical treatment at Jiffy Lube, but some people stick with what they know.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 22nd, 2014, 5:02pm — Townsend has agreed to a sit down interview on tomorrow’s show! I can’t wait to ask about the 2002 Ivy League Frisbee-for-all in New Haven, when grown men in sweaters were made to weep before an historic display of accuracy and athleticism. I have questions coming out of my ears, but my parents are making me finish my dinner first. I hate fish.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 22nd, 2014, 6:33pm — I can’t believe this. My world is ending. I just received a letter from the Sharon Community Education Program informing me that the Ultimate Frisbee league is cancelled this season due to a lack of interest. I thought I felt a disturbance after dinner… like a thousand voices cried out at once… ok, like three voices. I wonder if Townsend will still do the show tomorrow.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 23rd, 2014, 9:40pm — So I got to meet Matt Townsend on the SportsNuts program tonight — Tuesdays at 7, Sharon Community Television. He was so much taller in person, but I guess I’m used to watching college highlights and he’s only like one inch big on the screen. We railed against Sharon Community Education for a while, but then we decided to blame my friends. I thought I convinced them at lunch a couple weeks ago to sign up but then they probably all decided they’d rather play Minecraft instead. Anyway, Matt was really cool although he seemed a bit nervous to be on television, which then caused me to get nervous and I had a sneezing fit that sort of took me out of the conversation for the second half of the show. It was like that time Tony put pepper on my microphone. But so then Matt talked to Mook about his hips and signed him up for some new pharmaceutical trial at his company which might ease his discomfort, although possible side effects include tremors, lack of focus and spontaneous belching. Bad news for a cameraman, I told him.


About ericf73

A modern-day combination of Noah, Godot and Clark W. Griswold.
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