Yule be sorry

…if you take both kids shopping for presents for Mom two days before Xmas. It wasn’t procrastinating so much as working long hours at work and of course not being able to focus on any other holidays until my birthday has passed… which puts me in a bind every year. 

The stores were fairly crowded but, okay, maybe it’s taking *my* kids anywhere that’s the issue, not so much the time of year. Both of them are still competing for our attention just about every waking moment. About the only break we get is when one is demanding our attention by doing something horribly wrong like running into the street or peeing in his/her pants. Then the other child is content to watch us pull our hair out over the other one. But as soon as order is restored, wet clothes removed, then the competition is back on. Isaac might get lost in playing with his cars for 20-30 min. if we’re lucky. Sydney might steal Karen’s new phone and download apps or hack into NORAD for a few peaceful moments. Yes, we were both due for an upgrade so Karen got the new Samsung Galaxy 2 or whatever — the one that is making all the IPhone hipsters insecure in that television ad. I can’t quite switch over to the touchscreen keyboard thing yet (I like the certainty of pressing a key… like playing the piano, the action of it), so I stuck with a blackberry, moving up from the curve to the bold, in honor of my company’s recent re-branding effort which labeled us all “Bold thinkers driving real-world impact.” Really I just wanted the new version of my favorite phone game: word mole. The last one let you submit your highscore and then it would send you back your ranking. I got up to #354 or something… in the WORLD!! And then I shattered that high score by 4,000 points and when I went to submit the high score, it said the server was no longer accepting entries. Such is the life of a parent having to sit in the dark until the kids fall asleep.

Wrapping up a good year at work. We just had a holiday party which featured a flash mob that I quickly got out of by volunteering to be the videographer. I then put together a little “behind the music” piece that you can see here: http://youtu.be/-hs8QqZ4Xjs. It’s short–put together with just a little bit of footage I took before and after the event–but in putting it together I learned how easy it is now to put together clips using basic video editing software… not like the old days with my family’s video camera and a boombox hooked up to a VCR (what are those things you just mentioned?). So now I’m brainstorming with coworkers ideas for a documentary on the office-chair basketball league we’ve started. It’s going to happen — I mean office-chair basketball is barely sustainable by itself, it’s so silly. Season 2 was taking a while to get off the ground, but now with the chance to be immortalized on film we have 4 new teams and tons of skit ideas. You see, kids, it’s all about blurring art and life, until it doesn’t really matter what’s real anymore.

At least that’s my coping mechanism for a world that’s kind of depressing when you acknowledge the realities of it. We just officially ended the Iraq war, just short of nine years before it began in March of 2003. Can’t really think about how our government willfully started this debacle, killing or leading to the deaths of so many civilians (upwards of 100,000 by various estimates). It didn’t seem right to many of us in the early months of 2003. Now the news of the war’s end is like a blip in the news and the only thing I feel about it is a familiar and tired disgust with our national politics. Obama is a bright spot, but I feel like he should be wearing a “surrounded by idiots” t-shirt at all times, which I’d be happy to design for him.

Poor guy...

And Guantanamo is still open and we’re still spending money and costing lives in Afghanistan… and that’s all making us safer so that we can drink lattes, wear our pre-worn-in jeans and play angry birds? This is what it’s all about? Is it my own fault for not trying to “be the change” I want to see in this world? Yes… that gets difficult when you’re racking your brains on how to get your kids to behave or at least not pee all over the place. Still, this is the world we’re leaving for our kids… I will just blame them and say they allowed me no time to think about how to reverse global warming, end war, fight injustice, and make the world happy through writing and song. It’s hard to do all that between 9 and 11pm.

But in 2012 I’ll stop making excuses. The world will brighten a bit with the addition of a top notch documentary on office hijinx. Maybe I’ll send Obama that t-shirt and he’ll learn to blur art and life and roll a bit more with the beltway craziness… out-crazy the crazies, Obama. No, maybe don’t listen to me. But I’ll also look forward in 2012 to the kids suddenly becoming reasonable human beings. It’s gotta happen at some point… I mean I think Karen and I are pretty reasonable. Unless the subject is pop music and then I refuse to learn who Katy Perry is. And she refuses to listen to my latest list of band names (Banana Force, Jello Supersonic… ok, she has a point). Wow, banana force has all sorts of connotations that I’m not really going for… but maybe that makes it funnier. I’ll keep it on my running list (blackberry notes… a gold mine of ideas… or maybe a coal mine).

Hope you all have a great holidays and a happy new year.

-Eric

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About ericf73

A modern-day combination of Noah, Godot and Clark W. Griswold.
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