Reno 911

as in short for renovation. But I’ll get to that brewing suburban adventure in a moment. First I had a scare earlier this month when I picked up my car from some relatively routine maintenance (something about preventing a wheel from falling off that sounded non-deferable), and immediately started hearing a drafty noise from the front passenger side. Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

social butterfly

On quite a roll this past month with seemingly a concert or show or holiday party to attend each week, including the now famed and cemented (like stars in a Hollywood sidewalk) Gentlemen’s Shopping Day… which is in danger of becoming the only time each year my oldest friends can all get together, life/family/work/geography having weakened our compatriotic glue. Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Fantasmatron

Fellow fomenters,

Halloween winding down here on Lee Road where the Friedmans may have been the hit of the block party — Karen with the pizza and wagon full of spiked hot cider, yours truly with an irrepressible blonde wig and body language that said, “Here to party.” I had trouble staying in character though when I immediately lost track of both kids while Karen had run back to the house for something. The wig was a bit unkempt and the fake hair was constantly in my mouth and eliminating my peripheral vision. “My BAY-bies!!!” I screamed, stumbling when a high heel hit the storm drain grate. Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

people are people too

Fellow humans,

Well, summer draws unofficially to a close here as the kids start school tomorrow… I’m still having flashbacks to Syd’s back-to-school shopping trip to a tween store called Justice. Bubble gum pop videos piped onto flat screens, lots of glitter and hearts everywhere you looked… and not a place to lean much less sit down save for a long flat display of girl’s underwear from which I decided I should keep an appropriate distance. Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

hotfoot

Summer sweet and sunburned feet over here in southeastern MA, taking a couple days off before our nation’s independence day, when we celebrate life, liberty and the pursuit of 15 other countries who can play soccer better than we can… Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

sacre bleu

What’s the old Seinfeld line about lactose… he’s intolerant of it and will not stand for it? I may finally be sharing his conviction on that one. Yes, I stand here a bit wobbly in the knee, a survivor of an incident eerily similar to my ill-fated encounter with Johnny Rockets so many years back — some of you may still remember my cries of pain stuck in traffic on the Queensboro bridge, the wild-eyed rush through a fancy Italian restaurant to the “powder room” and later the loud assertions of what sort of “rockets” the restaurant chain title portended…
Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Sharon SportsNuts Blog – Townsend 40th

Presented at a recent friend and neighbor’s 40th birthday dinner, an homage to our heroes on Sharon’s community television…

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 2nd, 2014, 7:33pm — As signups begin for the new Ultimate Frisbee League sponsored by the Community Education Program, rumors are swirling about a potential steamroller of a team fielded by Sharon Heights. Word at Charlie’s Deli is that the local college and quasi-pro legend, Matthew Townsend, will don the disc this winter along with all-playground defensive specialist and intimidator, Eric Friedman of Lee Road fame… he of the house with the broken fence mended with white duct tape facing South Main. Friedman’s unorthodoxy aside, the addition of Townsend to the Heights squad is sure to rattle all would-be opponents, especially those of us still in middle school. This reporter will try to get Townsend on an upcoming show.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 10th, 2014, 6:08am — The buzz around Sharon Ultimate Frisbee is intensifying. Townsend has proved elusive. I didn’t know a Prius could accelerate so quickly, though I was hampered by a microphone cord plugged into a camera and Sharon Cable Access cameraman Mook Dempsey is none too quick these days what with the dual hip replacement surgery — a rare medical procedure where one hip is replaced with the other, much like how you might rotate the tires on your car. I told Mook to stop seeking medical treatment at Jiffy Lube, but some people stick with what they know.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 22nd, 2014, 5:02pm — Townsend has agreed to a sit down interview on tomorrow’s show! I can’t wait to ask about the 2002 Ivy League Frisbee-for-all in New Haven, when grown men in sweaters were made to weep before an historic display of accuracy and athleticism. I have questions coming out of my ears, but my parents are making me finish my dinner first. I hate fish.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 22nd, 2014, 6:33pm — I can’t believe this. My world is ending. I just received a letter from the Sharon Community Education Program informing me that the Ultimate Frisbee league is cancelled this season due to a lack of interest. I thought I felt a disturbance after dinner… like a thousand voices cried out at once… ok, like three voices. I wonder if Townsend will still do the show tomorrow.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 23rd, 2014, 9:40pm — So I got to meet Matt Townsend on the SportsNuts program tonight — Tuesdays at 7, Sharon Community Television. He was so much taller in person, but I guess I’m used to watching college highlights and he’s only like one inch big on the screen. We railed against Sharon Community Education for a while, but then we decided to blame my friends. I thought I convinced them at lunch a couple weeks ago to sign up but then they probably all decided they’d rather play Minecraft instead. Anyway, Matt was really cool although he seemed a bit nervous to be on television, which then caused me to get nervous and I had a sneezing fit that sort of took me out of the conversation for the second half of the show. It was like that time Tony put pepper on my microphone. But so then Matt talked to Mook about his hips and signed him up for some new pharmaceutical trial at his company which might ease his discomfort, although possible side effects include tremors, lack of focus and spontaneous belching. Bad news for a cameraman, I told him.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment