Sharon SportsNuts Blog – Townsend 40th

Presented at a recent friend and neighbor’s 40th birthday dinner, an homage to our heroes on Sharon’s community television…

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 2nd, 2014, 7:33pm — As signups begin for the new Ultimate Frisbee League sponsored by the Community Education Program, rumors are swirling about a potential steamroller of a team fielded by Sharon Heights. Word at Charlie’s Deli is that the local college and quasi-pro legend, Matthew Townsend, will don the disc this winter along with all-playground defensive specialist and intimidator, Eric Friedman of Lee Road fame… he of the house with the broken fence mended with white duct tape facing South Main. Friedman’s unorthodoxy aside, the addition of Townsend to the Heights squad is sure to rattle all would-be opponents, especially those of us still in middle school. This reporter will try to get Townsend on an upcoming show.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 10th, 2014, 6:08am — The buzz around Sharon Ultimate Frisbee is intensifying. Townsend has proved elusive. I didn’t know a Prius could accelerate so quickly, though I was hampered by a microphone cord plugged into a camera and Sharon Cable Access cameraman Mook Dempsey is none too quick these days what with the dual hip replacement surgery — a rare medical procedure where one hip is replaced with the other, much like how you might rotate the tires on your car. I told Mook to stop seeking medical treatment at Jiffy Lube, but some people stick with what they know.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 22nd, 2014, 5:02pm — Townsend has agreed to a sit down interview on tomorrow’s show! I can’t wait to ask about the 2002 Ivy League Frisbee-for-all in New Haven, when grown men in sweaters were made to weep before an historic display of accuracy and athleticism. I have questions coming out of my ears, but my parents are making me finish my dinner first. I hate fish.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 22nd, 2014, 6:33pm — I can’t believe this. My world is ending. I just received a letter from the Sharon Community Education Program informing me that the Ultimate Frisbee league is cancelled this season due to a lack of interest. I thought I felt a disturbance after dinner… like a thousand voices cried out at once… ok, like three voices. I wonder if Townsend will still do the show tomorrow.

Sharon SportsNuts Blog, Jan. 23rd, 2014, 9:40pm — So I got to meet Matt Townsend on the SportsNuts program tonight — Tuesdays at 7, Sharon Community Television. He was so much taller in person, but I guess I’m used to watching college highlights and he’s only like one inch big on the screen. We railed against Sharon Community Education for a while, but then we decided to blame my friends. I thought I convinced them at lunch a couple weeks ago to sign up but then they probably all decided they’d rather play Minecraft instead. Anyway, Matt was really cool although he seemed a bit nervous to be on television, which then caused me to get nervous and I had a sneezing fit that sort of took me out of the conversation for the second half of the show. It was like that time Tony put pepper on my microphone. But so then Matt talked to Mook about his hips and signed him up for some new pharmaceutical trial at his company which might ease his discomfort, although possible side effects include tremors, lack of focus and spontaneous belching. Bad news for a cameraman, I told him.

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Abt-Cambridge Strong

The wind was howling today – disturbing crashes were disrupting the work of yours truly and nextdoor-office-neighbor Judy Geyer. We checked with Amy downstairs, but she was oblivious to all external noises. But there it was again: BANG! THUD! Kerchunk!

It might have been the anniversary of the Boston marathon bombing and Mary Maguire’s related words of encouragement this morning… or it could have been something already present deep within their souls. But a few brave Abt-Cambridge employees donned their spring jackets and made their way into the breach. Two barn-sized doors were unsecured in the breezeway below the hallway of whatever this portion of the building is called! Debris was everywhere, although mostly on the ground. Friedman lifted a cinderblock that must have been twice his own weight out of the way of the slamming doors. Epstein picked up a piece of wood in a fearless manner, having no time this afternoon for splinters. RJ looked fearfully at the wind-tossed rain. But in a rare exhibit of all five (six?) of Abt’s core values at once, they managed to “batten down the hatches” as it were – and the doors would slam no more.


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bike-powered smoothies

We had a “green bag” lunch presentation last week by Bikes not Bombs (an organization which, I assume, promotes the dropping of old bikes from the sky onto developing countries… some lonely shepherd is looking up and saying, “Seriously? I’d prefer the bomb already.”) which centered around an old bicycle turned into a blender. I got to ride the bike turning the big wheel which turned the small gear which turned the blades of the blender, making a smoothie and giving me some ideas for some summer projects. Continue reading

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lamination festival

Would be worth it just to watch all the walk-ins who misheard what was going on. “The future of lamination is now!” Lot of strobes and space-age ethereal music, people in full-body plastic suits… guy hawking a pocket laminator. I haven’t thought this joke through. Continue reading

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From the belly of a whale

…is where I’m writing this, along with Shel Silverstein (“and it’s awfully dark in here”). No, just the belly of a house in a New England winter, which is the same thing almost, save for the distant promise of spring and a return to the outside world.  Continue reading

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End of an error

or let’s just call it the warm-ups, the first 40 years are a bit of a limbering up for life, no? Getting less limber? I do prefer to bark at the children when the remote is out of reach now. I have considered driving the garbage can to the end of the driveway… as it’s sort of an awkward thing to hold. Oh, sure it’s got the handles but you usually want to hold it away from your body as not to muss your “dress jeans” that you pretend are business casual pants… and that requires a bit more upper body strength than I possess depending on how much cat litter is in our trash. Continue reading

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divide and conquer

is the name of what could be the title track of the much-anticipated first Drama Queens album… much anticipated by the few of us in the band, and possibly by a fan or significant other or two, although of that we can’t be certain. Continue reading

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